Deciding The Pharaoh's Fate The Obvious Loser
by yugiwoah
Summary: Kaiba managed to convince everyone that he was a worthy opponent for the Pharaoh's final duel to decide whether or not he is free from the Millennium puzzle. Will he finally win a FAIR battle against the Pharaoh (not threatening suicide) or will the Pharaoh be stuck with him and the "dweeb convention" forever? (Yu-Gi-Oh! and all the characters are owned by Konami)


"And with my last summoned god card on the field, I end my turn!" The Pharaoh says triumphantly.

Yami/Atem: 400LP Kaiba: 600LP

"Nooo! It can't be!" Kaiba stares at the towering beasts, I mean _gods,_ behind Pharaoh in terror. "Not all 3 Egyptian god cards!"

"It looks like Kaiba is out of luck with this one!" Joey says observantly. "Maybe you could kill them with your huge ego!" he yells with a smug expression.

"I'd like to see you take them on _Wheeler_. But only a _duelist_ equal to the Pharaoh can duel against him. And last time I checked, it's not _you_." Kaiba bites back. His smug expression disappearing as soon as he faces the Pharaoh again. "Wait, how were you able to summon 3 Egyptian god cards in a single turn?"

"Uh . . . The Pharaoh furrows his brows. "You know what, screw the rules I am the Pharaoh. I make the rules . . . So let it be written, so let it be done. Now stop stalling your defeat Kaiba."

"Hey! Yugi calls out. "That's not very nice Pharaoh!"

"Yeah!" Kaiba smirks, "Well I guess I am going to have to kick you and your god cards asses!" He draws a card from his deck, "and it looks like i'm in luck. You better prepare to be forever separated from your precious Yugi!" His lips curl into a smirk.

"Do you think rich boy actually has what it takes to take down the Pharaoh's 3 Egyptian god cards?" Joey questions.

"I guess we are about to find out," Tristan replies.

"I summon . . . Joey's ego!"

"Hey, that's not a real card!" Joey yells.

"I know _that_ you dweeb. But if it was, it would be one to beat." He blushes and quickly turns back to Yami hoping Joey didn't notice.

"Wait, did he just . . . _compliment_ my ego?" Joey questions. _I'm sure I just saw Seto Kaiba . . . blush?_ "Whaaat?" He wonders frantically.

"Just play your card already!" Tristan shouts to Kaiba, not noticing the awkwardness.

Kaiba just laughs at the dweeb patrol. "I use polymerisation to fuse my 3 blue eyes white dragons to create **BLUE EYES ULTIMATE DRAGON**!"

"His blue eyes ultimate dragon is still no match for the 3 god cards Pharaoh has." Yugi wonders aloud. "I hope he has a trap card up his sleeve."

"Who cares!" Joey tells Yugi. "But I suppose we have to hope Kaiba wins otherwise Pharaoh will be stuck here for another 5000 years, and who would want to put up with Kaiba's big mouth for anther day!"

"Shut your mouth Wheeler! Besides the same could be said about _you_." Kaiba responds. "I place a card face down and end my turn. Sorry to postpone your inevitable defeat Pharaoh. Hopefully this duel will be over soon and I will be the new King of Games!"

"Your courage is admirable Kaiba." The Pharaoh says with his usual serious expression. "But, if you want the title of 'King of Games', you should be dueling Yugi and not I."

"You want me to believe that little _Yugi Motou_ is the King of Games!"

"He has kicked your ass multiple times you spoiled rich boy!"

"Shut it Wheeler!"

"Anyway, Yugi is the King of Games and if you want to duel him in your spare time that's fine but I am the Pharaoh . . ."

"And? . . . what?" Kaiba interrupts, growing impatient.

"And . . . it's my turn! Slifer attack his Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon!"

"Not my Blue Eyes!" Kaiba's eyes widen in mock terror. "Did you forget that I put a trap card face down?"

"No, I did not forget. I am the Pharaoh not _stupid_."

"Well your Slifer attack has activated my trap card, Mirror Force! Which means Slifers attack is redirected toward your god cards, causing you to attack yourself!"

"Who knew rich boy had it in him."

"SHUT IT WHEELER!"

"So, now that the 3 Egyptian god cards are now in your graveyard, we are one step closer to my victory!"

"I wouldn't be so sure just yet!"

"You're holding up pretty well for someone older than 5000 years."

"Is that . . . a _compliment?_" The Pharaoh blushes.

"No . . . well I mean . . . nevermind" Kaiba facepalms.

"With the amount of compliments rich boy is dishing out today you'd wonder if he's finally losing it."

"SHUT IT WHEELER!"

"Nevermind, I take it back."

"If you're trying to flatter me Kaiba it's working," the Pharaoh blushes harder, "but it's going to take a lot more than that to distract me from this duel. Also I must win, I have promised to get pizza with Yugi after."

"You have a date with Yugi how nice." Kaiba smirks.

"At least he has friends!"

"SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH WHEELER OR I WILL SMITE THEE!"

"Sheesh, since when did Kaiba read up on old English?" Tristan asks confused.

"Anyway Kaiba, it is my turn I am the Pharaoh. I draw a card . . . perfect. Meet the end to your ego! I activate Magician Navigation! This allows me to summon Dark Magician from my hand. Come forth Dark Magician! This trap card also allows me to summon Dark Magician Girl from my deck, giving me a total of 4500 attack points."

"That's still not enough to destroy my Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon!"

"Yes, but I am not done yet Kaiba! Now, I activate Pot Of Greed! This card allows me . . ."

"Yeah, yeah, even Wheeler knows what it does."

"Hey, of course I know what it . . ."

"Shut it Wheeler!"

"Meet your end Kaiba. This duel is over!"

"But _how_? My Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon is stronger than your Dark Magicians combined!"

"Yes, which is why I activate Dark Burning Magic. Since I have the Dark Magician and Dark Magician Girl on my field, it allows me to destroy all of your monsters, so your Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon is no more!"

"No, it's impossible!"

"Nothing is impossible with friendship!"

"Oh please, don't start with that now."

"Since you have no cards on the field your lifepoints are wide open. Dark Magician and Dark Magician Girl attack Kaiba's life points directly!"

Yami/Atem: 400LP Kaiba: 0LP

"Ahhh!" Kaiba sinks to the ground in defeat. "I can't believe I lost!" He hits the ground with his fist.

"And that ladies and gentlemen concludes the duel! Making Kaiba the lesser duelist." Joey announces, all too cheerfully.

"SHUT. UP. WHEELER!"

"But wait, doesn't that mean the Pharaoh is stuck with us?" Tea asks hopefully.

"Yup, stuck in this dump of a world thanks to rich boy over there!"

"SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH WHEELER!"

"I guess fate has other plans for us." The Pharaoh says with a wink to Yugi.

"I guess so," Yugi comments, mostly to himself. "We'll see what the future holds," Yugi winks back as they exit the temple.

"Guess the Pharaoh has his mind on someone else, huh Tea?" Tristan jabs playfully at her as they follow the 2 Yugi's.

"Hey, guys! Wait up!" Joey rushes after them, fearing what would happen if he would be left alone with Kaiba.


End file.
